As I'm waiting for my train to arrive the wind blows by and my nose picks up a scent of aftershave that I put on earlier today. It reminds me of summer 2 years ago, when everything was at its place. I was happy then. I get a feeling of weakness in my stomach and search for a spot in the train. As I sit my ass down the door opens and a drop dead gorgeous boy walks in, and lucky as I am he takes the seat in front of me. As I watch him in the reflection of the window I start to wonder what if...
What if I never broke up with my boyfriend 2 years ago. I probably wouldn't be moved to Rotterdam and I'd probably never attended at the academy of arts. I would have stayed in 's-Hertogenbosch and continued my life the way it was: Stressless, in order and fine. But knowing me I'd probably be bored very soon, so I'd get myself in to trouble and would have committed adultery several times by now. So when I think of this, I know it's good that we broke up, because I could never hurt Sam. I fall a sleep… I jump up out of my seat when I hear a voice screaming throughout the train: ''Rotterdam Central Station, end of the line, please take your belongings with you''. Mister hot loving in the seat in front of me is grabbing his stuff together and leaves the train. I will never see him again that's what I think as I get off the train myself. I hop on a bus ten minutes later and think of something what me and two friends where talking about last sunday. How it is such a strange thing that peoples lives cross several time without ever knowing each other, and then at a certain point they meet. A friend told me she met her boyfriend two years before they ever took an interest at each other. The same thing happened to me. Sam left me a comment on a blog a year before we ever met. He figured that out half way trough our relationship when he was clearing his blog history. Its funny how your life can change by that one choice you make. Or by that one spot your at where you could meet that one guy. Life is full of surprises and everything can chance enormous by the choices you make in life, not only on your self but on people in your life as well. So maybe there is still hope for mister drop dead gorgeous boy that I saw in the train earlier. And maybe there is still hope on moving back to 's-Hertogenbosch the city where life was perfect.
I get off the bus and walk home and as I walk in to my room I say to myself: ''What the hell am I thinking about! It's good to change your life every once in a while, you meet new people your surroundings change and it only makes you stronger. And besides I'm much to young to think about all this heavy stuff''. but sometimes I just wonder off.
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